Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I Am Today's Modern Outdated Parent

Something must be seriously wrong with me...

I actually like my kid. In fact, I love her. And I love being with her and spending time with her. Crazy, I know.

This is my reaction to two articles I read recently. One, I already responded to— Why Women Can't Have It All... Or Can They?— and now, I'm reacting to the NYT's Modern Mothers' Turn To Scratch An Itch, which deems 'Modern Mothers' as those who engage in so-called luxurious practices of spending more than 1/2 the week away from their kids (if not more) and be, well, single again.


They get to indulge in complete independence and zero parental responsibility, which might typically consist of drinking more alcohol, spending more time by oneself, and perhaps going to the spa, reading, exercising, and/or working more, while the kids are 'Daddy's problem'.

Daddy's problem?

Is that what kids are these days? This seriously makes me wonder why people even have kids to begin with (other than on accident).

One woman described living with just one of her kids, with the help of a sitter, while her husband lived elsewhere with their other kid, 'felt like a deep breath. You’re running so fast when all the players are around you and, when they’re not, you focus on what’s good for yourself'. I'm not chiding this woman for what she's saying— as a parent you do forget about yourself and it is important to find time for yourself but to what extent is necessary? Is being far and a handful of days away on end satisfactory? What ever happened to the good-old weekly date night, consisting of a few hours away, most of which are when the kids are sleeping?

I admit I am biased. Completely. I actually think having a kid(s) is the luxury. As I've said before, Parenthood is the best and will make you into an even greater version of yourself than you could have ever imagined :> But that requires actually being there.

Personally, I think the problem lies in the approach. This is my opinion and at the risk of sounding harsh, here are my thoughts...

There are 24 hours in a day and we all get tired. That is just the given parameter everybody— man or woman, mom or dad— has to work within. Parenthood is a choice. It's a lot of work and very consuming. But it's also really rewarding and brings Don't have kids or too many if you want more time to do other things that don't involve things like helping someone(s) change clothes or diapers, brush teeth, bathe, tie shoes, wipe nose, eat or drink, read books, finish homework assignments, spell words, teach words and everything else it takes to be a HealthyButJuicy human being. It's almost that simple and there are condoms and birth control pills (or abstinence) that can help.

It's important I say this, I think, because our kids hear what we say and read (or will someday) what we write, and they we DO value, care about, and want to spend time with them. At least some of us outdated parents do, anyway. Because, seriously, before we know it, they won't want to with us. Childhood is fleeting...

Before becoming a parent I said I'd live by certain parental tenets, including 1. Being There, 2. Smiling Often, and 3. Loving Unconditionally. And I'm sticking to that.

Date night with my daughter consisted of dinner, music concert, and gelato! :> = T+2.5 hours together :>

Date night with my friend consisted of good food, laughs, and design talk! :> = T-1.5 hours apart :>

Balance, fulfillment, and having it all in parenthood while not spending eons away from kid— it IS possible. I'm scratching my itches all over the place and laughing while doing so.

How do you enjoy your kids? Share in the Comments below or Tweet/Instagram us! We (your kids included!) would love to hear! :> xoxo

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