Nui Nui is adjusting very well at her new school, making new friends, enjoying many laughs, learning new things, and building strength. And I'm so thankful to see her happily on this new adventure. Really, I am. As for change, she is not the only one in transition.
Today I felt a turning point.
She wanted to go outside and play with her friends when I came to pick her up, so I let her have some more outside social time, as that is one of my main reasoning for putting her in school at this age.
I sat on the sidelines and watched her play. It looked as if she was already so comfortable in her own element, running around with her new 'best friend' and another girl, laughing, and having such a good time.
Every once in a while, she would look at me with a thoughtful yet serious face— no wave, no smile, no nothing— and then proceeded to run around with the girls.
Nui Nui and her friend are tall for their age. They're not the oldest in the school, they're the second oldest, but still they looked like they dominated the playground by height.
The turning point was this: normally, when I would come pick her up, I would become her focal point. But that was not the case today. It was me on the side and her with her friends. For the moment, she had no time or attention space for 'mama'.
Wow, I thought. So this is what middle school is like. Then high school. Then college. Suddenly, the next 15 years passed right before me. So this is what they're talking about. That gut-wrenching feeling of having to let our kids go. But she's not even 4 years old yet! Seriously?? Clearly, I'm in total denial this will ever happen to me. It's a concept too hard for me to grasp, both now and, as much as I should be expecting it, one day.
However old, whenever this happens, though, she will always ALWAYS be my baby. xo
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